Our Rules

WHAT IS A MUNCH?
A ‘munch’ (derived from the term “burger munch” ) is simply a casual social gathering of people already involved, and those who are new and interested in the BDSM lifestyle community. Munches typically take place at local restaurants, taverns, or coffee shops.  Depending upon the size of the group, the organizers will either reserve a large table, a private room, or the entire venue if needed. Guests are always welcome to arrive and leave anytime they want.

Munches are meant to help those who are new or curious about BDSM to meet other like-minded people face-to-face. It is an opportunity to become more comfortable and better informed about the local BDSM lifestyle community in a safe, public, pressure free environment.  Munches are also a place where people may seek advice, ask questions, make friends, and discuss personal BDSM experiences.

There are several different “Lifestyle” communities and groups in the St Louis region. The three primary lifestyle communities are identified as the (1) BDSM community, the (2) Swinger community, and the (3) Nudist community.  Although there is some overlap between these three unique communities, the St Charles Munch is designed primarily for people who are interested in learning about the BDSM lifestyle community.  Anyone trolling for a hook-up shall be promptly removed.

Polite and respectful conversations revolve around topics pertaining to BDSM relationships and BDSM activities — including Dominant/submissive relationships, Female-Dom/male-sub relationships, ethical polyamory relationships and other types of consensual “power exchange” relationships. We also discuss BDSM activities such as sadomasochism, spankings, shibari/bondage, floggers, wax play, paddles, whips, electrical and many other forms of safe and consensual BDSM ‘play’.

You will find out about seminars and classes where you may learn about BDSM play, what goes on at BDSM ‘play parties’, how to properly vet potential partners, how to negotiate safe BDSM activities, the importance of consent and use of safe words, the difference between consensual play and abuse, and much more. You are encouraged to ask questions about any topic and you will receive honest and forthright answers from experienced and friendly people who live the BDSM lifestyle 24×7.  It is the first step to getting involved and learning about safe BDSM, as well as making lots of like-minded friends. Plan on having an enjoyable evening with good food & drinks and good conversation.

 

WHAT ARE THE RULES?
Most BDSM groups and social gatherings maintain rules and/or etiquette in order to provide a safe and comfortable social environment for all guests. The rules for some groups are stricter than for others.  The following are the St Charles Munch rules. In order to keep everyone safe and comfortable, we do run a tight ship.

  • The minimum age to attend is eighteen (18)
  • The minimum age to order or consume alcohol is twenty-one (21)
  • The Hosts (or bar tender) reserve the right to verify the age of any Munch attendee by requesting Identification. Failure to present a valid ID shall result in being denied access to the Munch and prohibited from attending any future munches, until such time that acceptable Identification is provided.
  • Any person who provides fraudulent Identification, or falsely represents themselves, or another, to be 18 years old or older shall be ejected from the Munch and banned from all future Munches.
  • The St Charles Munch does not discriminate based upon age, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, political affiliation or chosen lifestyle.
  • The St Charles Munch is considered a ‘private’ social gathering. It is held in a private area that is reserved exclusively for our group. The Host(s) reserve the right to dis-invite or deny access to any individual, for any reason, without warning or explanation.
  • If you have a FL account, you must RSVP in order to attend.  If your RSVP is removed, you are not welcome to attend.
  • The St Charles Munch IS primarily for people who are involved in, or have an interest to learn about the BDSM lifestyle and/or other Alternative Lifestyles.
  • The St Charles Munch is NOT a place to ‘hook-up’ or to troll for potential partners. Obvious ‘trollers’ shall be warned and/or ejected* from the premises. If you are looking for a sex partner, you’ve come to the wrong place.
  • Unless otherwise noted, the dress code is casual and appropriate for a local restaurant or neighborhood sports bar establishment.
  • Appropriate behavior is expected by all attendees. Please treat everyone with all due respect, courtesy, kindness and politeness.  Any individual who disrespects the hosts, other guests or the establishment’s staff shall be ejected and not be allowed to attend again.
  • Please do not discuss any subject matter regarding ‘kink’ or BDSM with the waitresses or with any of the ‘vanilla’ customers outside of our reserved area.
  • No advertising, soliciting, recruiting or promoting of any business or product. Exceptions for worthy fund raising may be made only with the approval of the Hosts.
  • Should anyone inquire about our group, either refer them to one of the Hosts or say, “we are a dinner social group”.
  • If you ‘run a tab’, please do not neglect to pay your bill prior to leaving the munch.
  • If your server provides good service, please tip them generously.
  • Please drink alcohol responsibly. Anyone found to be unruly, drunk or inebriated will be ejected*.
  • Although the Hosts respect the Missouri State ‘Open Carry’ law, we ask that no firearms be brought to the munch. Anyone carrying an open firearm will be ejected*.
  • In order to protect the privacy of all attendees, please do not distribute any type of flyers, leaflets or invitations pertaining to kink, BDSM or the Lifestyle.
  • We ask that you report any problems, complaints or concerns directly and immediately to one of the hosts in order that appropriate action may be pursued.
  • You are welcome to bring your partner or a friend who may also be interested in the BDSM lifestyle. However, you are not welcome to use the St Charles Munch as a gathering spot or meeting venue for another group without prior and explicit permission of the Hosts.
  • Do Not advertise or promote the St Charles Munch on any social media web sites or apps without permission from the Hosts.
  • As a matter of reciprocity and concern for the safety, comfort and enjoyment of all attendees, individuals who are known to have violated the rules of any other munches or events may be prohibited from attending the St Charles munch. If you believe this rule might pertain to you or another attendee, kindly contact the Host(s) prior to RSVP’ing or attending.
  • The following individuals are strictly prohibited from attending the St Charles Munch.
    • Individuals identified as stalkers, abusers, assaulters, consent violators or individuals currently active on any sex offender registry.
    • Individuals caught or known to be trollers, trouble makers, predators, outters and those who threaten to out.
    • Individuals who have blocked, insulted or gossiped about any of the hosts.
  • Individuals who participate in any type of behavior that the hosts consider to be disruptive or the cause of adversity towards the hosts, guests, the groups we support, or the Lifestyle community at large, are unwelcome to attend. In plain language, those who engage in dishonest or unethical behaviors, asshats, liars, gossip & rumor mongers, crazies, shit disturbers, antagonists, drunks, stalkers and other self-serving malevolents with afflictions towards malign, ill will or adversity are forbidden from attending.  Y’all know who you are and you shall be promptly removed from the premises.
  • The Host(s) fully support STL3, F.L.O.G. and T.H.O.T.W, as well as other sex positive groups. These worthy groups represent many individuals who selflessly volunteer their time in order to provide safe spaces for education, socialization and engagement in BDSM activities for the entire community. Therefore, any gossip mongering or disparaging remarks regarding these and other groups shall be grounds for ejection*. If you don’t have something good to say about a person or group, then S.T.F.U.
  • A violation of the St Charles Munch Rules may result in either (1) a verbal warning, (2) ejection*, (3) or any other action deemed appropriate by the Host(s).  A serious or repetitive rule violation may result in being disallowed from attending any future munches.
  • You are urged to contact the hosts, privately and in writing, prior to attending the St Charles Munch if you have a question about any rule or believe any rule may pertain to you or another attendee.
  • The decision of the Host(s) are final. This is a private party, not a democracy. Our house, our rules™

* Ejection: (Choice #1) The act of quietly, politely and discreetly being asked to leave with as little notice or embarrassment as possible; (Choice #2, Plan-B) The act of physically being escorted out of the establishment by the bouncer, if necessary;  (Choice #3) The act of being physically removed by security or law enforcement, as a last resort.

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